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Dec. 14th, 2005 @ 11:15 pm weeks away from finland...!

3 more semesters left of my undergrad college career...if im lucky.
who knows. an extra semester may be a good thing to do.
not for the $$$...but...other reasons.

the semester...i dont even know what i think about it.
i think all in all it was so busy it was kind of a blur really.
towards the end things got really confusing...and hard...and i just sucked at life really.
haha. im still...really confused.

BUT i am going to finland...very soon. well i guess first things first- i fly to nebraska/colorado on saturday. if i find a ride.
i am having the most awful time trying to find a ride. im really really annoyed.
tomorrow is thursday....yikes.

the weekend- and this week have been really good. im working like crazy- starting my day at the CDC for 8 hours and then a quick break to change clothes and go to harvest moon.
the CDC has actually been a lot of fun. im in a class that i have never worked in before...and i have same great new little buddies :) there is one little guy that has stole a piece of my heart...haha. im not kidding...ahhh he is so cute and has a great little personality...and his smile..aww :) tomorrow is our christmas party and then friday we go to a movie at the theatre with all the kiddos...good times :)

friday nite i spent helping sebas and daniel finish getting out of their house. im going to miss them a lot. i already do. they are great guys. and i cant wait to go visit someday. i also love anna and keri very much. and hope that keri is loving colorado :)
saturday i went with ash and steph (?) to jons farm. there werent a lot of people there...just a small get together. it was an okay time. tindall was there...haha what i funny kid. when the group went to go smoke...it was really tempting. and i hate that it is even tempting. guhhh. i drank some so co. i always forget me and so co arent really the grestest of friends. blah.

sunday afternoon and nite i spent a bunch of time with sarah fox and i loved it. we went over to longhorns because the guys were working...went shopping...put up christmas decoration for heather and the girls apartment and made cookies...and then over to a movie with the boys...it was good times! im really sad she will not be at berry when im back next year :( we had a lot of good conversation.

speaking of the boys. im going to miss them. a lot. i have spent every nite since sunday over there. we went to narnia the other nite...sooooo good! i loved it. vicki even joined us. me and baker laughed so much at just the imagination...and the portrayal of the kids...and just how great kids are! oh man...i want to see it again. talking animals...heck yes :) the guys are great. and next year is going to look way different. sad. no sauers...and im not sure baker and gooch will live together again.

also got to hang out with john alford for dinner yesterday...it was really great to talk to him...about life...ministry...future..thailand...everything. i think him and amanda will get married...shortly after graduating...kinda cool :)

hum. im really tired. i was hoping to talk to heather..she is finally back...and im here...and she is on the phone :( i just need to TALK...so much.

ive been thinkin a lot more about project- i know that logically and in a lot of ways it seems very crazy and not even an option. but. ive been being pulled to it in the last couple days. it was be really hard...i know...but i just...cant stop thinking about it. and i know i dont trust God at all. and i wonder if thats the whole point...i do really wonder my capability of leading girls right after i get back from finland...i wonder a ton about the $$$...and a HUGE hurdle is bonner work. and well payed bonner work at that. and...if i go...i will have to raise full support...i hate raising support.
i hate depending on people period.
i really suck at it.

maybe one of these days i will learn...

im in a valley right now..and it really sucks. im hoping that getting home (for 9 days...) i will spend some serious time evaluating...and acting on it. i need to pray. im just believing so many lies...and being caught up in....life.
sick out.

im an aunt again!!!! haha im a loser and totally forgot to put that FIRST!
Rosealynn Rae Juerta was born early friday morning at 12:33. 7lbs something...i suck at the numbers.
im really exited to get home...an extra bonus. its really odd to even think about there really being a baby at home...haha it kinda seems like pretend. i never saw dixie pregnant...wild. yay :) just a few more days....

christmas is amazing. the kids in my life are amazing.
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